Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
