Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize