There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Floor bacon is actually really good
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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