This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
