life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I think people are normalizing furries
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
