he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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