it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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