So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
