this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
