obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
