there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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