how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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