the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
