so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I need to calm my uterus...
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
