a queef is a wish your heart makes.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
