singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
