The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
