how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
