I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Randomize
