Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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