You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
