somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
