i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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