i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
