he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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