Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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