Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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