She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
