I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
