He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
