maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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