i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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