i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
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