If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
