what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
