Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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