You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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