it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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