All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
