Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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