I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
