If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
