I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
