Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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