so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
