stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
