so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
