Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
