Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
