I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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