I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
