Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
