At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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