hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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