did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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