Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
