if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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