Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Randomize
