You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
there is glitter all over my balls
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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