So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
two words...techno handjob
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
