what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Use "feeling words"
Yay
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
