I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
